The Ultimate Fast Food Resturaunts Review

Since fast food makes up the majority of my diet, sadly, I have decided I am a self proclaimed fast food connoisseur and will be writing the review to top all reviews...

The Ultimate Fast Food Restaurants Review!

First of all, a few clarifications: "fast food" generally means greasy hamburgers or tacos, so in reality, this isn't just a "fast food" review. To be completely correct I guess it's a "quick serve" review, because I will be reviewing all of restaurants that I normally eat at and find in truck stops where you 1) order and pay at the counter, 2) have an order number, and 3) do not have a waiter coming to your table. For example, you normally wouldn't think of Subway as a fast food joint, but is in fact a quick serve restaurant so it will be included in my review.

Rating scale on a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being "don't waste your time" and 10 being "the best you can get".

$ = a whole meal for $4-7

$$ = a whole meal for $7-12

$$$ = a whole meal for $12+

A & W - 6 out of 10 at $

I know, you're thinking root beer floats. And in fact, the root beer floats and other wide assortment of frozen treats including slushies, real fruit smoothies, milk shakes (or "freezes"), and root beer floats are the only thing that gets this place a rating of 6 instead of 5 from me. I'm a sucker for cold, sweet things. Their burgers are mediocre, but fulfilling if you are hungry enough. The selection of food is also mediocre. There are several different burger varieties, a few larger sandwhiches featured on texas toast, chicken strips, and a chili cheese dog. That's about it. However, there is one other noteable menu item: the cheese curds. These are highly addicting and highly greasy little crunchy balls with squishy, stringy, delicious cheese inside. But be warned. Try and eat more than one side of these yourself, and you will get sick.

Arby's - 2 out of 10 at $

I go out of my way to avoid Arby's. In fact, if that's the only resturaunt in a truck stop, I will even go so far as to get stuff out of the hot wok instead of ordering a sandwhich. If forced to eat at Arby's, I will get a salad (usually limp and turning brown) or a plain roast beef sandwhich which is just that - roast beef and a bun, no sauces or dressing or additional condiments. Any of their sandwhiches featuring  cheese should be avoided at all costs. There is something distinctly wrong with their cheese and it immediately makes me feel a dire need to vomit. They don't even have a very good or wide milkshake selection.

Burger King - 7.5 out of 10 at $-$$

I mainly like Burger King because of there kids menu. Yes, I order off of the kids menu. I like to get the macaroni and cheese because it's real Kraft (the blue box!) macaroni and cheese with fresh apple slices and apple juice. It's delicious. They also have a selection of desert pies including cheesecake, chocolate pie, and apple pie for under $2.00. They also feature a monthly flavor of milkshake besides the standard three flavors (chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry) my favorite of which is the Oreo sundae shake.  Their standard sandwhiches aren't too bad, either, their hamburger does not taste like sawdust and their chicken, although not jaw dropping, is perfectly acceptable.

Carl's  Jr. - 9 out of 10 at $$

This is definitely one of my favorite fast food joints, unfortunately you don't see it too much in truck stops. Although a bit on the spendier side, they definitely have one of the best burgers. The meat is juicy and flavorful and they have a huge variety of burgers ranging from the Western burger (with BBQ, bacon, and cheese) to the Guacamole burger. Additionally, they recently joined up with "Green Burrito" - which offers very tasty burritos indeed - and some more Mexican style food items for variety. They also feature a monthly milkshake flavor and I've gotta say, they are some damn good milkshakes. Unlike some other fast food restaurants they also offer curly and criss cut fries instead of just your standard fries, as well as bacon cheese fries and chili cheese fries. It's a winner all around. 

Hardee's - 5 out of 10 at $$

Hardee's is like Carl's Jr.'s little brother on the east coast, except without the awesomeness. They have about half the menu. It's really pitiful - three burgers (albeit almost exact copies of three burgers from Carl's Jr.) and chicken strips and one tiny side salad. Also limpy and turning brown. And no monthly featured milkshake flavor or Green Burrito. Not a big fan, but, the burgers are better than your average run of the mill burger so I must give it points there. 

Jack in the Box - 9 out of 10 at $

Oh, my love for Jack in the Box is ample...I mean, two tacos for a dollar? Need I saw more? It's the perfect drunk food. I'm sorry, but it is. Greasy, cheesey, melty, taco deliciousness. Mmmm. I know you're tired of the milkshakes, but, their Oreo milkshake is good and they actually give you a cherry on top. I hate those cherries, but I like that they go the extra mile to make my day and put it on their anyways. Their curly fries are my favorite. More importantly, they have a wide variety of foods - tacos, burgers, chicken, breakfast bowls, smoothies....yum, yum, and yum. And cheap, if you know what you're doing, like I do.

McDonald's - 7 out of 10 at $

You may be wondering why I gave McDonald's such a high rating when it is probably the most hated and bashed and law-suit suffering establishment in the fast food industry. I'll tell you why - it's reliable. Reliable in every way except for their use of mayonnaise: sometimes you get a lot, like I prefer, and sometimes you get one little dollop. It changes every day. Anyways, besides their use of condiments, you can pretty much always rely on good old Mickey D's to be consistent. They've improved their menu quite a lot the past few years to include more breakfast foods, like some tasty breakfast burritos, salads, snack wraps, and other healthier options. Their fries are the only fries in the entire world that I can eat without dipping them in ranch and still enjoy. And I'm a huge fan of their dollar menu. I can get everything I want off of there: McChicken, medium fry, and a hot fudge sundae. Three dollars and I'm done. It's good.

Subway - 7 out of 10 at $$

I am not on the Subway bandwagon like everyone else. In fact, as far as subs go, Subway is pretty nasty. A good percentage of the time their food makes me sick because their employees don't know how to wash their hands or change their gloves. It's gross. But I give it a higher score because it's not a greasy burger and they don't sell fries - props there. Also, I occasionally enjoy the sweet onion teryaki sandwhich. It's also nice to get soup every once in awhile. 

Popeye's - 8 out of 10 at $$-$$$

That's some damn fine chicken. And their variety of sides is definitely unique stuff that cannot be found elsewhere. Gumbo, jumbalaya, cajun fries. You get the idea. They're expensive. But hey...someone has to wrassle them chickens.

Port of Subs - 10 out 10 at $$-$$$

Quite possibly the only restaurant that will get a 10 out of 10 from me. Delicious, delicious sub sandwhiches. Fresh, moist bread, crisp, crunchy vegetables, exquisite pastrami, perfected with some oil and vinegar, a touch of oregano, and some jalapeno chips on the side. Port of Subs is just the best. You will not be wasting your time here. Their food is actually healthy, fulfilling, and not at all lacking in the flavor department. 

Taco Bell - 5 out of 10 at $

Taco Bell is hard to place. If I were judging them on flavor alone, the rating would definitely be higher. As long as you eat your food as soon as you get it and don't let it sit, it's a surprisingly nice treat for your taste buds. However, Taco Bell, without fail, always makes my stomach angry. My stomach does not like Taco Bell. Neither does Dan's stomach. Quite possibly, no one's stomach likes Taco Bell. But, if you must eat there, here are a few of my favorites:  chalupas, gorditas, and cheesy fiesta potatoes. All with sour cream, of course.

Wendy's - 3 out of 10 at $

Wendy's is quick. If you're going through their drive through, they have your bag hanging out the window before you even pull up. Their chocolate frosties are uniquely tasty in combination with fries. Their water is cold. This is the extent of anything good about Wendy's. It is always disappointing - anytime you stop and think, "Hey, Wendy's might be good today" and follow through with your plans, you will only be disappointed. Their food is just not good. Not even the baked potato. It's usually under cooked and their fake butter tastes particularly fake. 

I hope you've found this guide helpful and enlightening. All I have to say, is, I can't wait until the day when I completely swear off fast food unless I'm in some bizarre situation where I don't have a kitchen of my own and all of my family and friends have banned me from their kitchens. Like that would ever happen.